NewsFeeds 7.30.10

S-A-T-I-R-E: Richmond Canal Cruise Named Nation’s Saddest Boat Ride, Ever (Tobacco Avenue)
The honor, which carries with it a $2,500 fine, recognized the cruise’s depressing top speed of 3 miles per hour, its heartbreaking views of an electrical station, and its near soul-crushing passage under an aluminum plant.

Richmond to put up $1.5 million to save port (Times-Dispatch)
City Auditor Umesh V. Dalal informed the Port of Richmond Commission this week that his office will conduct an audit of port operations at the request of Mayor Dwight C. Jones and the City Council.

TowneBank’s earnings rise almost 9 percent (Virginian-Pilot)
TowneBank, citing the benefits of lower-cost deposits and continued loan growth, said Thursday that its second-quarter net in come rose almost 9 percent.

Bel Rio owner accused of embezzling (Daily Progress)
The Albemarle County Police Department has obtained a felony embezzlement warrant for Bel Rio owner Jim Baldi, a Charlottesville resident who shut that restaurant’s doors earlier this month and has not been seen or heard from in weeks.

Surprise: Sales of big SUVs surging faster than small cars (USA Today)
Automakers are tantalizing the market with 40-mpg small cars and 30-mpg sporty cars. Electric cars from major automakers are due by year’s end. Plug-in gas-electric hybrids are under development. But guess what? The full-size SUV market segment — the bane of mileage-minders — is where the action is.

Leading GOP donors accused of massive fraud (Washington Post)
Billionaire brothers Sam and Charles Wyly, who have donated generously to Republican causes, reaped more than $550 million in profits from illegal stock trades, according to the SEC complaint.

The Making of a Fashion Sensation (Inc.)
They started as collectibles for kids, but the candy colored bracelets known as Silly Bandz are fast becoming a bona fide fashion statement for all ages.

From Survival Mode to Growth (Entrepreneur)
Tips for shifting from short-term thinking to developing new revenue streams.

The Weekly Wind-Down: Newly Discovered Documents Shed Light On Nation’s Creepy Founding Uncles (Onion)
According to the newfound texts, most of the Founding Uncles relied on their more successful brothers for money, at least two lived out of a family member’s root cellar, and about half were repeatedly reprimanded for presenting inappropriate gifts to their young nieces, such as low-cut lacy bodices, immodest bedgowns, or tins of snuff.

S-A-T-I-R-E: Richmond Canal Cruise Named Nation’s Saddest Boat Ride, Ever (Tobacco Avenue)
The honor, which carries with it a $2,500 fine, recognized the cruise’s depressing top speed of 3 miles per hour, its heartbreaking views of an electrical station, and its near soul-crushing passage under an aluminum plant.

Richmond to put up $1.5 million to save port (Times-Dispatch)
City Auditor Umesh V. Dalal informed the Port of Richmond Commission this week that his office will conduct an audit of port operations at the request of Mayor Dwight C. Jones and the City Council.

TowneBank’s earnings rise almost 9 percent (Virginian-Pilot)
TowneBank, citing the benefits of lower-cost deposits and continued loan growth, said Thursday that its second-quarter net in come rose almost 9 percent.

Bel Rio owner accused of embezzling (Daily Progress)
The Albemarle County Police Department has obtained a felony embezzlement warrant for Bel Rio owner Jim Baldi, a Charlottesville resident who shut that restaurant’s doors earlier this month and has not been seen or heard from in weeks.

Surprise: Sales of big SUVs surging faster than small cars (USA Today)
Automakers are tantalizing the market with 40-mpg small cars and 30-mpg sporty cars. Electric cars from major automakers are due by year’s end. Plug-in gas-electric hybrids are under development. But guess what? The full-size SUV market segment — the bane of mileage-minders — is where the action is.

Leading GOP donors accused of massive fraud (Washington Post)
Billionaire brothers Sam and Charles Wyly, who have donated generously to Republican causes, reaped more than $550 million in profits from illegal stock trades, according to the SEC complaint.

The Making of a Fashion Sensation (Inc.)
They started as collectibles for kids, but the candy colored bracelets known as Silly Bandz are fast becoming a bona fide fashion statement for all ages.

From Survival Mode to Growth (Entrepreneur)
Tips for shifting from short-term thinking to developing new revenue streams.

The Weekly Wind-Down: Newly Discovered Documents Shed Light On Nation’s Creepy Founding Uncles (Onion)
According to the newfound texts, most of the Founding Uncles relied on their more successful brothers for money, at least two lived out of a family member’s root cellar, and about half were repeatedly reprimanded for presenting inappropriate gifts to their young nieces, such as low-cut lacy bodices, immodest bedgowns, or tins of snuff.

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